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RETIREMENT SPEECHES

It's always important for a retirement speech to break the tension by saying something humorous. This puts the speaker at ease and makes the listeners more comfortable as well. After everyone has enjoyed a gentle laugh & the retirement speech has been well accepted, the toast should include a few sincere, heart-felt words about the retiree's career, family or hobbies. When done well, there may be a few tears of joy but everyone will cherish the moment, especially the retiree.

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retirement speeches

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Retirement speeches/toasts and poems are very important, whether you are retiring yourself or giving a toast, a retirement speech says it all, professionally. The retirement speech should express the best wishes of colleagues and friends and mention the attributes of the retiree, ending with a suitable toast. A light-hearted, yet sincere, poem adds an unusual finishing touch to the retirement speech.

Limerick/s

He'll play golf every day there is sun
When his days at the foundry are done.
But I've seen this man play,
And there's only one way:
He'll have to buy balls by the ton.

--------------------

When hubby decided to retire
His wife said, honey I declare
On what they give
We'll just barely live
And not have one dime we can spare!

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and
scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull,
but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see
things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of
weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to
reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it -- Almost every time I sneeze, cough or
sputter.....
either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

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Speech writers.com - Retirement speeches & Retirement toasts

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Funny.co.uk - The UK's premier comedy site, with the latest news, articles and features, plus jokes, games and more.

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