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Hello & welcome to the latest edition of the Mabels newsletters



Latest features & articles -


28% of over 50s will rely on state pension



Two out of three older people are worried about dementia


10 minute Alzheimer's test to spot disease in earliest stage


One-a-day pill offers new hope on strokes

All over 50s should be taking statins


Seaweed pill could help beat arthritis



Fruit juice reduces wrinkles and reverses signs of ageing




Diabetes can DOUBLE your risk of stroke



Latest article:



How to Preserve Your Eyesight


Take advantage of the latest age related discounts and offers for our readers...




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Job search - Search through all job vacancies posted on all UK websites




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*Latest News


All the latest over 50's news from the top news rooms
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Retirement News -

Pension & Finance News

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*Top resources of the Month



Over 65 travel insurance quotes



Disability products and patient aids

Mobility aids from Medisave


disability aids
Link to homepage






Chums - outerwear, underwear, footwear

This month's funnies.


Signs that show you are getting old


All of your favourite movies are now revised in colour.

An 'all-nighter' means not getting up to pee!

At a garden party you're mainly interested in the garden.

At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatine is too tough.

The car that you bought brand new becomes an antique.

The clothes you've put away until they come back in style...come back in style.

Conversations with people your own age often turn into 'duelling ailments.'

Frequently you find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre today.

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

The gray-haired person you help across the street is your spouse.

A group of campers form a circle and start singing 'Kumbaya' when
you light the candles on your birthday cake.

It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

It takes too much effort to procrastinate.

The kids leave one by one, only to return two by two.

Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.

Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.

One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.

A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

Someone compliments you on your layered look...and you're wearing a bikini.

A stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.

They seem to be making adults much younger--when did they decide to let kids become policemen?

The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say 'pureed.'

When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

When you do the 'Hokey Pokey' you put your left hip out...and it stays out.

Work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

You begin every other sentence with, 'Nowadays...'

You can do just as much as ever; but would rather not.

You choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy

You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't
have to go along.

You find this list tasteless and insensitive.

You have trouble remembering simple words like...

You keep repeating yourself.

You know it all, you just can't remember it all at once!

You keep repeating yourself.

You look both ways before crossing a room.

You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions.

You make it a point to attend all the RV shows that come to town.

You realize that aging is not for wimps.

You keep repeating yourself.

You refer to your £2500 stereo system as 'the hi-fi.'

You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

You smile all the time because you can't hear a thing others are saying.

You start beating everyone else at trivia games.

You start video-taping daytime game shows.

You still have a photographic memory but it no longer offers same day service.

You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.

You wonder why you waited so long to take up macramé.

You're a walking storeroom of facts...you've just lost the key to the storeroom door.

You're awake many hours before your body allows you to get up.

You're good at opening childproof caps--with a hammer.

You're not grouchy, you just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, loud music, unruly kids, barking dogs, politicians and a

few other things you can't remember.

You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.

You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

You're sure everything you can't find is in a secure place.

You're the life of the party...even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

You're usually interested in going home before you get where you're going.

You're very good at telling stories--over and over and over and over...

You're well cared for--long term care, eye care, private care, dental care, Medicare.

You're wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just your left leg.

You've met so many people that everyone you meet reminds you of someone else.

You've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...you just can't remember it all.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Your childhood toys are now in a museum.

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

Your insurance company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time.

Your lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "pick one, I can't do both!"


Click here for more humour

Also, visit our joke section in the forum



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