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Dieting, A Theme close to our Hearts!
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 10:47 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:59 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Swinton, South Yorkshire

It is essential before we start a diet that we believe in why we are doing it.
Below is something to strenghthen your beliefs and when it is read Morning, Midday and Evening before meals, your diet could work.
We would like feedback, good or bad, from anyone who tried this

A Dieter's Prayer

Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.

I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
but at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
that my soul may be poly unsaturated
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

And at margarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.

Give me this day my daily slice
but, cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujubees.

And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe--size 30 long.

I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.
If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
of pasta a la Milannaise
of potatoes a la Lyonnaise
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.

Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.

Bet you read every word, didn't you? And if you believed it -

You're dafter than I am!!!



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