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Why does porridge cause so much flatulence?
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:42 pm 
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Location: Swinton, South Yorkshire
Flatulence occurs when a food does not break down completely in the stomach and small intestine. As a result, the food makes it into the large intestine in an undigested state. Most lower intestinal gas is produced when bacteria in your colon ferment carbohydrates that aren't digested in your small intestine. The body does not digest and absorb some carbohydrates (the sugar, starches, and fiber found in many foods) in the small intestine because of a shortage or absence of certain enzymes.

This undigested food then passes from the small intestine into the large intestine, where normal, harmless bacteria break down the food, producing gases such as hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and, in about one-third of all people, methane. As much as 80 to 90 percent of rectal gas (flatulence) is formed by bacteria. Eventually these gases exit through the rectum. Certain foods produce more flatulence than others because they contain more indigestible carbohydrates than others. Beans are well known gas producers. The beans pass through the small intestine and arrive in the large intestine without being digested, which causes flatulence to occur.

Unfortunately, healthy foods such as fruits, vegetables, oatmeal and legumes (beans and peas) are often the worst offenders. That's because these foods are high in soluble fiber. Soluble fiber dissolves in water forming a gelatinous substance in the bowel. Fiber has many health benefits, including keeping your digestive tract in good working order, regulating blood sugar and cholesterol levels, and helping prevent heart attacks and other heart problems. But it can also lead to the formation of gas. In the colon the bacteria thrive on the undigestible fiber. These bacteria are harmless but for those who have an intestinal gas or flatus problem it is probably best to avoid or carefully test soluble fibers to see if they are contributing to intestinal gas.

On the other hand, insoluble fiber as found in wheat, rye, bran, and other grains does not dissolve in water. It is not used by intestinal colon bacteria as a food source, so these bacteria generally do not produce intestinal gas. Both soluble and insoluble fiber should be eaten on a daily basis.


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Re: Why does porridge cause so much flatulence?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:28 pm 
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This is one of the 'cut and paste' posts I did as a sarcastic jibe at the 'regular' cut and pasters and I was going to follow it up with more on f*rting (for these f*rts you must understand). Having done a bit of research on flatulence, I realised that the people who have it (worse than the rest of us), really have their cross to bear!

I wasn't aware that there were such things as "flatulence filtration pants" for men ..... AND women - who never own up to f*rting! C'mon girls, you know I'm right.! Even the Queen has a man who follows her around at all the banquets she attends (Ithink his name is Phil), so if she trumps, he owns up to it! Clever!!!

Back to the story.

Now, if it wasn't bad enough having to wear 'flatulence filtration pants', some bright spark with a warped sense of humour has given them the name .................. "SHREDDIES"!!! That's right! Shreddies!
I know, puts you off your breakfast, doesn't it?

Anyway, I've decided, no more sarcasm on this sensitive topic. Walking around in "Shreddies" is punishment enough and judging by the number of views this post has had, there must be quite a few of you!

PS Do you have a secret sign when you walk past each other?

Sorry!


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Re: Why does porridge cause so much flatulence?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:46 am 
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I don't have a sign, but if it happens in public i normally cough of sneeze at the same time to cover it up, and move on as quickly as possible. If i'm at home i normally just shout one of the pets names. E.G. Tigger or Sumo, you dirty dogs!!


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Re: Why does porridge cause so much flatulence?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:21 am 
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Love it! When I'm out, I wait for a heavy lorry to drive past, the slower the better - you know - for the long, lingering squeaky ones!

If they are S.B.D., I usually lift my foot up and look at my shoe sole, giving the impression I've stood in something. If I've got an audience, I'll do a little rant about dog owners letting their pets foul the pavements.

O.K. we've got the ball rolling, now let us into into your little secrets for covering up those embarrasing moments. Would you like to start off, Jo, or are you still on that cucumber thing?

(If you don't see anymore posts from me, Jo's banned me!).


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Re: Why does porridge cause so much flatulence?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:46 am 
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Joined: Fri May 29, 2009 3:09 pm
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Moving slightly off the topic, did you know....

There is a £250 fine for a human fowling in public and upto £1000 for a dog. This chap was walking his dog along the beach promenade when the dog dropped his load and was witnessed by a number of the public. He had no bag to pick it up with. Then a policemen was walking towards him.
He quickly dropped his pants and sat over the mess.

The policemen said "What the hell are you doing?"

The dog owner said "saving myself 750 quid me old copper!"


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Re: Why does porridge cause so much flatulence?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 12:55 pm 
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David,

You're evading the challenge!!!

Now what do you do to hide a f*art?


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