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Don't put your mother in a nursing home
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:20 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:33 pm
Posts: 401
Location: Fareham, Hampshire
Taking Mother To Nursing Home

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her as planned, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright.

This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Mum, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let me fart."


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Brothel Trip
PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:23 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:33 pm
Posts: 401
Location: Fareham, Hampshire
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.


'I'm 90 years old,' he says.

'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'


'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'


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