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Funny general people jokes


Council letters


      It's not what you say it's the way that you say it............


      To help you to forget your everyday problems, read how others put

      their thoughts into words......  genuine clips from council

      complaint letters.


      1. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet

      roof.  I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.


      2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and

      Burnt my knob off.


      3. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife

      tripped and fell on it, yesterday, and now she is pregnant.


      4. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just

      can't take it anymore.


      5. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against

      my fence.


      6. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.


      7. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage

      Has fungus growing in it.


      8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?


      9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the



      10. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow


      11. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle, very badly, when

      he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.


      12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50%
      are plain filthy.


      13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.


      14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is



      15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny

      colour and not fit to drink.


      16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.


      17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every

      Morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me


      18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which

      Is unsightly and dangerous.


      19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a

      third, so please send someone round to do something about it.


      20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you

      please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me

      every night.


      21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and

      Satisfy my wife.


      22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I

      still have no satisfaction.


      23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we

      can't get BBC2



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